All the goodly, all the badly

So.

On October 7, 2017, I experienced quite possibly the best day of my life. I saw my play come to life in front of my family and friends. The love of my life was by my side the whole time. My cast was fucking amazing and everyone in the theater lifted my spirits and my confidence so high that I thought I’d break through the theater roof.

Everything felt so right.

Even though I was so nervous my excitement rules over any other emotion surging through me. And after it was over I was overwhelmed with pride. Just so much pride. I have such amazing friends and such an amazing family. I have the most amazing partner in life and I just couldn’t believe it.

That night changed my life.

I savored every moment. And vowed that it would not be the last they saw of my work.

I was on cloud nine and then everything changed. The worst time of my life began after the best day of it. It’s indescribable, the pain your body goes through as it starts to shut down. I don’t want to share my health problems here in detail. I’m sick but I’ll be ok. I only mention it to acknowledge the fact that with every high comes a low to keep things balanced.

I wouldn’t have survived this low without my girlfriend. She literally saved my life and I realized that with every low, comes a reality that life has so many highs. Mine is in the form of a beautiful woman named Livv.

An amazingly thoughtful and caring friend named Mel.

My Moww.

My broseph and sister.

Even My dad.

Even when life completely sucks and I want to give up…I have my people to remind me that things will be ok. Somehow.

Your friend,

Lourdi.

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Red and a Play

So, I’m a redhead now…

And I wrote a play that’s going to have a performance in NYC!!!

I have an amazing cast! And my better half is co-directing with me! It’s a dream come true honestly and I can’t believe so many of my friends, family, and coworkers are going to be joining me on my special night. I’m the luckiest duck. My mind is blown. ❤️

<<<
e never been so happy and nervous and grateful and excities…

Your friend,

Lourdi.

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Changes in a year

Exactly one year ago today I wrote out my suicide note. Most of my belongings had assigned future homes and I was begging everyone not to hate me for doing it. 

Loneliness is a fucking bitch. Heartache is crippling. Mental health is a serious matter. 

It’s been a year. 

My life is wonderful. There are some setbacks, but we just go with the flow. I’m happy. I’m madly in love. I’m humbled. I’m alive. 

I’m very thankful. 

A lot has happened in a year. In this year. I’m happy I stuck around to see it through. 

Your friend, 

Lourdi. 

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Engagement ring shopping?!

It’s only been a couple days, but 33 is starting out fucking amazing. 

I’d never been engagement ring shopping before. My ex and I bought rings we thought the other would appreciate. We didn’t go to a jewelery store and get sized or try things on…

Yesterday Livv and I did…and it was so exciting and so weird. I meant it when I said I never thought I’d get married again, but my heart knew it would make an exception for her if she ended up falling for me as I did her. 

Oh, lucky me ❤️

The most beautiful person in the entire world…picked me. I can’t wait to be her wife and for her to be mine. I can’t wait to have my mom walk me down the aisle. I just fucking can’t wait. I’ve met my soulmate. I never believed in them until she came along. 


Your friend,

Lourdi. 

This is 33. 


Not sure how I got so lucky. 

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While my gf’s away,

With my cell phone I will play. 
My girlfriend is in Berlin. I’m home taking pictures of myself in a hat…

I just can’t wait for my Cheekies to come back home. 
Your fwend,

Lourdi. 

A new year

I work with special-needs adults. It’s trying and tedious. It’s also the most rewarding.

Im in love with my best friend in this whole world. Luckily, she’s in love with me, too.

I wasn’t ready before but I’m so ready now.


 

You Are

My favorite adventure.

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Your friend,

lourdi.

 

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