‘soul mates’…

Ok, I know someone who goes on and on and on and on about how they’ve met their soul mate and they’re so excited to marry their soul mate and oh my god, they have a soul mate.

fuck soul mates.

I don’t believe in them. The person you end up marrying is just the person who can put up with the most of your bullshit. My girlfriend and I just discussed this. “You’re not my soul mate,” we literally just said to each other. She believes my soul mate is my friend Keith because he understands me and my brain better than anyone in this world. Agreed. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, he’s it. He’s my favorite friend and I have the most fun when his brain is around.


“Lo, you’re obviously jealous…you’ll never marry your soul mate.” Imaginary inquisitor, I reply by saying: False. Not jealous.  Yes, my girlfriend and I have our fair share of problems and shit. We frustrate the hell out of each other but no one has ever loved me as fiercely as she does and I’ve never fought so hard to stick it out with someone before her. It’s love. We respect each other and are 100% honest with one another. She’s my best friend.

This is what I believe. You marry your best friend; and your ‘best’, favorite, most totally rad friend is your soul mate.

That is what I’m thinking.

Yeeeeeeeah, that’s what I’m thinking.

Your friend,


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