choices

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Here we stand/ separate, together/ who would have thought it’d end up like this? we took a chance/ it was hot and bothered/ so many signals I know we missed. Now I look back/ and I know you’re doing the same/ I’m sorry it’s all fuzzy/ I know I’m to blame.

I tried.

Believe me or don’t/ I only have these words now/ I’m not hiding behind them/ I wouldn’t know how. When I talk, I stammer/ when I’m full of doubt, I pause/ when I’m dying, and crying, and sobbing, and raw…I shove it deep down and cement it in walls. If you look hard enough, really, really hard/ a familiar face can still be found/ but don’t stare too long/ she scares quite easily at any sudden movement, flicker, or sound.

There are too many words in the world/ and too many voices/ and while I have little confidence in my own/ my words are my choices. So if I stutter, or I stammer, or I stop mid-sentence and wait/ when I can’t look you in the eyes because I just need to hide/ these words are everything I needed to say.

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