Yesterday was my day of divorce. I didn’t sleep the night before because it’s a really humbling thought “this is the last time I’m going to bed as a married woman.” Bc it was. I don’t think I’ll ever get married again simply because I don’t think I’ll ever love someone as much as I love myself or my work. And by work I don’t mean my cafe and theater job, I mean my writing. I’ll never give it up again. It is who I am, it is what frees me and makes me different. I’m in love with my writing and I’m in love with being creative.
It’s funny, the start of my week was with my divorce, I will end my week celebrating the love of my friend Kristen and her fella Jesse at their wedding. I won’t ever give up on love, it inspires me, I just don’t think it’s in my deck of cards. Which is sad but I had a nice experience with it while it lasted.
So, it’s funny, the actual proceedings of the divorce itself was simple. I went to the court with my mom. Met my lawyer there. Listened to one woman’s case and then went before everyone, did the whole hand on bible swear to tell the truth the whole truth nothing but the truth thing and answered a bunch of questions that required a yes or no answer. The judge was very sweet because he could tell I was nervous but it took about ten minutes. My lawyer laughed when I told her my ex was in disney. She rolled her eyes and said it was disrespectful but I know the trip was planned before our court date was issued. So I explained that but she still just shook her head. I have to get used to not defending her anymore but I just never saw her as some other people did. I really believe she’s a good person who has been dealt some shit. I just wasn’t strong enough to deal with the shit anymore.
Anyway, this will probably be the last time I write about my ex and our divorce because that part of my life is over and I have so much going on now. Thursday Livv and I are going with my friends Amy and Susan to the Eastern State penitentiary in Philadelphia. We are going to spend the day doing random stuff and then go to the thing at night. It should be cool. I’m just now starting to go out and do things with my other friends, it’s taken me a while to trust that they’re not going to want to gossip about what happened to my relationship but I honestly do believe they just want to hang and catch up. So that should be fun. Then, like I said before, I have Kirsten’s wedding on Saturday and I begged my friend to join me so that should be fine.
I dunno. Life keeps moving along and I’m just trying to take it all in and enjoy the ride.
We’ll see 🙂