Tag Archives: happy

Changes in a year

Exactly one year ago today I wrote out my suicide note. Most of my belongings had assigned future homes and I was begging everyone not to hate me for doing it. 

Loneliness is a fucking bitch. Heartache is crippling. Mental health is a serious matter. 

It’s been a year. 

My life is wonderful. There are some setbacks, but we just go with the flow. I’m happy. I’m madly in love. I’m humbled. I’m alive. 

I’m very thankful. 

A lot has happened in a year. In this year. I’m happy I stuck around to see it through. 

Your friend, 

Lourdi. 

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You Are

My favorite adventure.

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Your friend,

lourdi.

 

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i dream of a love…

  
The inside of my heart is see-through 

You can see right through it

if you look hard enough. 

There is one woman out there

who will see her reflection when she looks in and

she won’t be scared. 

And when I look inside her heart I’ll see myself 

and smile. 

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Congrats Kristen and Jesse

Tonight my friend Kristen got married. I was reunited with a few of my borders peeps and that was nice. The best part of the night was the photo booth. Yup. Oh and the celebration of love and all that shit 😉

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Most of the pix are mine but I copied my friend robs and I might have stole one from Livv again 🙂
Was honored to be invited.

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A couple new beginnings

Today I started my new job and I LOVE it. It’s everything I loved about my last job minus the drama. No one knows my business. No one cares about who they think I’m sleeping with. No one knows I’m getting divorced. No one knows about the health scares I had a few months ago. No one knows shit. All they know is that I’m new, I’m easy to train because I know how to do everything already, and my name is Lourdi.

Working in Convention Hall is a lovely experience; there’s so much history there. It’s quite humbling.
Other than the job in Convention Hall, I am also working at a indie movie theater a couple nights a week because the job was handed to me. I went to drop my friend off for her interview and the manager was like, “Do you want a job too?”

Free movies?

Hell yes I want that job.

I get to watch indie movies for free and buy candy for a dollar.

Today I also started my online courses at Brookdale. My friend and I are taking web-design classes. It’s all to help with the web series which is coming along nicely!

Please visit us at
http://www.facebook.com/meetingswebseries
http://www.twitter.com/meetings_series

Once the website is up and running (my beautifully talented friend Mel is working on it as we speak), I’ll post the link.

The pieces are falling back into place. I used to describe my life by grabbing a stack of papers and throwing them in the air and watching them scatter to the ground. Now I feel like I’m finding myself again. I have my extremely lonely moments sometimes…you can’t go from seeing/talking to someone almost everyday for 7 years to never seeing them and not feeling something. You just can’t. Some people don’t get it and I guess it’s just something you have to go through to understand but I wish it upon no one. I believe my ex is doing well. I haven’t heard from her in a while and I don’t really talk to anyone who has heard from her but I trust she’s fine.
That’s my update for now.
Thirty, man. It’s been a ride.

Your friend,
lourdi.

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The fair

I hate the fair.
I hate crowds of people and I hate that parents let their demon spawn run around unattended, bumping into strangers without mumbling so much as an “oops, sorry”.
I hate being forced by my brother to stand in line to get on a ride that I can’t remember if I like or not. I hate the queasiness that follows due to my medication.
I hate that I actually have a lot of fun on those rides and enjoy the disgusting fried foods and stupid games I never win.
One thing I love though?
The main reason why I push through my anxiety and grumpiness:
My brothers favorite ride is the swings. I watch, every year, at every fair, as he stands in line alone, awkwardly sits himself in a swing and buckles up. The ride starts swinging around slowly, picks up momentum and in just a few seconds he’s up in the air. He stretches his arms out like they’re his wings. He pushes his face up to the sky, letting it take him away and the smile never leaves his face.
He’s flying.
I get to see the epitome of freedom, happiness, and beauty once a year at those stupid fairs. It’s always a hassle to get me there. I never want to go but, afterwards, once I’m back home I’m always really grateful I went.

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